I feel obligated to be here, to be alive. I live every moment with regret and guilt. I feel guilty for being the way I am. For acting the way I do, for feeling this way. It's selfish, but I want to leave. So there will be nothing to worry about, no more problems. I feel this way on a daily basis, some days it comes to mind more often than others. But it's there, in the back of mind where I try to keep it. I just, I've never really saw a future for myself. I still don't, it won't make sense to you, because you don't understand but that's okay. Hopefully I'll make sense of this myself. I'm scared to leave, but I want to. - c.f
